Another setback

Last week's blood test result - 46. This week's blood test result,
which I got yesterday was - not 60 or even 50, as I'd modestly
hoped, but - 12. 46 was certainly not as great as I'd hoped, but it
was pretty OK, and definitely out of the danger zone. 12 is back in
scary territory!

In other words, although the steroid pulse my doctor and I did 10
days ago had definitely worked - a jump of 34 - it hadn't held once
I was on 5mg for a week. I'd lost everything I'd gained, while
putting up with all the usual unpleasant side-effects of a relatively
high steroid dose. 

So we're trying the pulse again - this time over  a longer period.  I started on 25mg last night and will take that for three nights, then on to 15 mg until I see my doctor again after next week's blood test. If the results are encouraging, we'll drop down to 10 mg for some days. It will beabout three weeks before we get back to 5mg, and  only if my platelets are much higher than 46.

As well as being under 'house arrest' again for at least until next
week's blood test, I can look forward to three weeks of increasing
discomfort from the horrible steroid side-effects.

Steroid side-effects

If you've never been on high steroid doses this is what I and many
others experience: sudden drops in energy, shakiness, palpitations,
indigestion and belching, pain in the oesophagus that feels like a
knife stuck through me, disrupted sleep - waking up and being
unable to get back to sleep because your mind is spinning with
thoughts. Not exactly fun!

Brain fog

Both my doctor and I hope I won't be on the higher doses for so
long that they affect my adrenals and produce the dreaded brain
fog.

Brain fog is similar to what many people receiving chemo for cancer develop.  Your brain feels full of cottonwool or thick fog; your neural synapses seem sluggish or unwilling to fire. It is debilitating and depressing to be unable to think clearly; often it affects your ability to make sense of what you're reading.

Damage to the adrenals also leads to fatigue. So it's no wonder I'm
feeling a wee bit down this week!

At the moment, my adrenals are coping and thank goodness my
brain is only a tiny bit slower, so I can still work effectively.

Always look on the bright side of life

I've been through all this before, but thankfully not for quite a
while. And each time, I've bounced back and my brain has returned
to action. So far this year I've been remarkably well, and for much
of last year, apart from debilitating migraines in summer. In fact,
the problem seems to be that I'm just too healthy! Even spending
three weeks in Boston in the spring sunshine and coming back to
winter in May didn't cause any health problems, if I ignore my
immune system munching up my platelets faster than my bone
marrow can make them.

And although my doctor telling me the bad news threw me a few
minutes of teary anger, I walked out of her surgery laughing. I said
I was heading to the nearest café for a restorative coffee and how
glad I was that coffee protects the liver against  steroid by-products. Shetold me about a patient going for a coffee enema to  detox,
who was surprised she was buzzing for 48 hours after. Yikes!! I'll
take my coffee orally, thanks!

Wake up call 

Every once in a while I need a reminder that my ITP is a chronic auto-immune disease, and that just because I feel well and full of energy and a functioning brain, I am not over it. I am not cured, because it’s an auto-immune problem for which no-one knows the cause. Since we don’t know the cause, we can’t eliminate it, and it’s probably exacerbated or mediated by various genetic and nutritional deficiencies I’ve had since birth. And so the problem of low platelet numbers will recur time and time again. I received a wake up call last week when my latest blood test showed an alarming figure of 17, three below the safety level my doctor and I had set for going to hospital. To be honest, the levels had been dropping over the previous three months, by about 50 percent each six week test, but we’d quietly ignored the decrease as my numbers were still high, and I was doing well on all the other counts – haemoglobin, cortisol, adrenals, liver function, kidneys, everything except my IGGs, which were still a bit behind.

At the end of April I had a flu shot, as winter was approaching with the flu season. Two weeks later I flew to the US (21+ hour flights each way) and had three wonderful weeks with my daughter and her husband in Boston, and three and a half fabulous days in New York. I paced myself, resting on every second or third day, and every day for a couple of hours in NYC, but other than that had a fantastic time, travelling, eating well, drinking cocktails, meeting new people, visiting museums, theatres and art galleries, and exercising once a week in their home gym.

When I came home to Sydney, I was tired but still high on pleasure, and apart from normal tiredness – no jetlag – felt fine. In fact I felt better than fine. I felt fabulous! A week later I had my blood test, and a phone call the next day from my doctor, concerned about the dreadful figure for my platelets. When I saw her, I assured I was feeling fine, that I had no spontaneous bruising (plenty of bruises from travelling, but I knew the origin of each bump and knock), and that my gums were only bleeding a little when I cleaned my teeth. We had a serious discussion about risk management, and agreed that I would go straight to A&E if I had any fall, trauma or was knocked down in the street. As before, the risk is invisible but serious – internal bleeding, especially into the brain if I had a head injury.

Since winter had already started, and although we were enjoying milder temperatures than usual, early mornings were foggy and rainy, so I agreed to stop going to the gym for the next few weeks. Early morning is the best time of day for me to go to the gym, so I’ll just have to exercise at home for a while. No sense risking getting knocked down getting on or off a bus!

A week later and I’m rejoicing that I have a head cold. Violent, explosive sneezing, runny nose, slight temperature, mild sore throat. Nothing major, just a common or garden cold, an URTI, but it’s something to keep my immune system busy, so it leaves my platelets alone. No-one enjoys a cold, but I’m actually delighted this one has started. Next week’s blood test could show a nice increase in my platelets What the statistics from my three and half years of blood-tests show is that I need at least two episodes of illness – flu, stomach bug, heavy cold, migraines that leave me dehydrated from nausea – to give my platelets a chance to recover and bounce back to normal.

So here’s hoping that this week’s cold will do the trick. I don’t want anything worse. I had a bad stomach bug in late November that was absolutely horrible – vomiting, diarrhoea, shakiness for days – that messed up my plans for Christmas. But did bounce my platelets up to 146. If this cold works, I should have three to five months of good numbers before I need another infection. Bring it on! Meanwhile, pass me the tissues, I feel a sneeze coming…

Reasons to be cheerful

Apart from the happy memories, photos and new clothes from my holiday, the fact that I mostly feel well and have patchy but fairly regular freelance work I can do at home are very good reasons to be cheerful.  Living in a beautiful city with lots of cultural activities I enjoy with friends is a bonus!

Poor genes, poor health – but not poor me!

I’m approaching the 2nd anniversary of my diagnosis with ITP. I feel stronger and happier than I did this time last year, but it’s been a strange journey, and along the way there have been far more questions than answers!

Every three weeks I have a blood test, and my GP and I analyse the data and come up with a new or extended hypothesis of the underlying causes of my low platelet count and my prognosis over the next few weeks. As well as the all-important platelet count, we have a cycle of other markers we monitor – cortisol, haemoglobin, red cells, white cells, lymphocytes, monocytes, basophils, eosinophils, calcium, vitamin D and vitamin B12, plus a string of blood chemicals and hormones identified only by initials – most of which I only have the very vaguest understanding of what they do.

No simple answer for thrombocytopenia

Two years on and the one thing that is clear is that there is no simple, straightforward answer as to why I have thrombocytopenia. Why my platelets bounce up and down, and struggle to reach 100. Why 50 or 60 is an OK level for me, though it would be a tremendous psychological boost if they would sit on 100 for while.

On 50, or better still, 60, I function pretty well most days, with maybe one dodgy day a week or 10 days. By ‘dodgy’ I mean slow moving in the morning, or shaky for the first couple of hours, so my bad days are nowhere near as horrible and debilitating as they have been, and are, currently, less frequent.

Over the months, we’ve looked at various possible causes or contributing factors, such as H pylori ,gut parasites, and low-grade Lyme disease. Plus we have identified some of my genetic deficiencies – being gluten-intolerant and also unable to metabolise folate from food. Now we have another one – low level hypothyroidism.

Hypothyroidism a possible villain?

In the latest blood test, we checked my Vitamin B12 level, something we do every three months, together with homocysteine. As usual, the B12 was lowish – still within the very broad range of 145-637, but this time right at the bottom. And the homocysteine was way up, almost double what it should be. Both the high homocysteine levels and the inability to metabolise folate are linked to the MFTHR gene and can occur together with low levels of thyroid hormones, and could indicate very borderline hypothyroidism.

That my presumed hypothyroidism is very marginal is shown by the fact that I exhibit none of its most noticeable symptoms: tendency to gain weight and inability to lose it; slow thinking; thin hair and hair loss; puffy eyes; oily skin; and other more delicate comparisons – such as constipation vs irritable bowel.

What it appears I have is ‘secondary hypothyroidism’, thanks to the last year’s adrenal fatigue and my ongoing adrenal insufficiency. So possibly the borderline hypothyroidism is not so much a cause as what the medicos call a co-morbidity – connected, but not necessarily cause and effect.

Chronic condition from long-term problems

To sum it up, here’s my equation:
a lifetime of less than optimal health (as a result of choosing my parents badly), compounded by environmental factors* + an unknown viral or environmental stress in 2009 = ITP.

Not a clear cause and effect, or diagnosis and cure, but good enough to be going on with, now that what was life-threatening two years ago is pretty much under control.

Reasons to be cheerful

• My weight is pretty steady at an appropriate weight for height and build: 60kg to my 160cms and thin bones;
• I have good energy (most days)
• I enjoy going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week
• I have enough freelance work that I can manage
• I love doing coffee or going to a play, concert, discussion group or art gallery with family and friends
• I have time to write my short stories
• The jacarandas are flowering
• I feel good!

* Tasmania, my home state, has very low iodine levels in the soil, causing many people to develop gross hypothyroidism and goitres. This connection was not recognised until I was about 10, so I would not have had an optimal iodine intake during my early growing years.

Ups and Downs but Not a Rollercoaster

The infrequency of posts to this blog reflects the fact that, by and large, I have been reasonably well over the past couple of months. It’s true I find the winter cold weather much harder to tolerate than before I developed ITP, but friends and family know I have always been a bit of a wimp about cold weather, being temperamentally a lizard (or a cat).

Despite my doctor’s gloomy prediction a couple of months ago that I would be “a magnet for colds”, I have not actually come down with one, even though I travel regularly on public transport and have exercise sessions at a hospital gym with a group of COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) sufferers who frequently cough. It’s true, I’ve had days when I’ve felt distinctly unwell, and likely to develop a cold or even flu, but the slow release Vitamin C and the daily doses of cordyceps seem to kick in and protect me from the bacteria to which my low Ig2 levels make me susceptible.

Weaning Prednisone woes

But it’s not been all plain sailing. I have still lost far too many days, especially through the end of June and up to mid-July, from an unexpected reaction to weaning off the steroids. Back in May, I was comfortably on 3.5mg, having dropped 0.5mg a month without any obvious difficulties. My platelets rose steadily, the cortisol levels a little more slowly, but all was going swimmingly.

Then bang! Two and a half weeks after dropping to 3mg, I had the sort of reaction I used to get in the mornings after taking a high dose of around 20 mg – no energy, feeling absolutely chilled, no brain, shakiness, palpitations. Some days this lasted from 8.30 am to around noon. On really bad days it hung on until 2pm, and all I could do was lie on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, hugging a hot water bottle, until I felt my energy rise and knew it had passed for the day.

Weaning Prednisone – low doses are hardest to get off

When I saw my doctor three weeks ago and complained of this horrible reaction, she checked my pulse, my heart rate and my blood pressure. All normal, even though I could still feel the shakiness. My platelets were beautifully high at 118, my cortisol levels were up to almost 50 per cent of normal, all my other blood indicators were good.

So why the lack of energy, the hammering heart, the shakes, the fuzzy brain? It’s partly due to adrenal fatigue though thankfully, I’m not completely exhausted as I was 12 months ago. The adrenals are just finding it harder to take up the slack when the steroid dose is reduced. As with adrenal exhaustion, once my energy came back in the afternoon, I was awake and raring to go in the evenings.

The lower the dose of steroids, the more likely there are to be adverse reactions, particularly if you’ve been on steroids for longer than a few weeks or months. I’ve been taking prednisone for 19 months. My body has, in a sense, become addicted to it, and my adrenals can’t always make up the shortfall when I cut the dose back. So, after my check-up yesterday, when the platelets have dropped back to 90, and the cortisol has slipped a little, we’re doubling the dose of cordyceps to give my energy levels and adrenals an extra boost.

On the bright side

Although my platelet count has slipped a bit, it’s still on 90. Twelve months ago it was around 40. As recently as May, it was yo-yoing around 45-50, and it seemed I would never get above 50. Ditto with my cortisol levels. Twelve months ago I was like the walking dead. Friends had to do most of the packing cleaning and unpacking when I moved house, while I lay on the couch “supervising”.

So, OK, I’ve had a few weeks of shakiness, palpitations, shivering etc, but they’ve gradually improved, and I‘ve had many days when I’ve felt and sounded almost normal. I’ve been able to work on my short stories and send them to competitions, I’ve written blogs, I’ve commented in online discussion groups. I’ve even joined a couple of actual social groups that meet in coffee shops, as opposed to online.

The magpies are warbling, the sun is shining and the magnolia tree outside my window has started flowering.

A Respite Phase?

For the past 6 weeks or so I have been feeling pretty good, despite being “a magnet for colds and flu”, according to my GP, because some of my immune system markers, the immunoglobulin subclasses Ig1 and Ig2 are still very low. Ig3 and Ig4 are somewhat low, but within the range, so they’re not a worry.

My cortisol levels are still alarmingly low at almost a quarter of the expected baseline level. The adrenal glands and pituitary gland are still not functioning properly. So you would expect me to be feeling slow in the mornings, and with the low immune system, liable to catch whatever is going around in the way of germs.

Not so! I’ve been remarkably well. So well that when I visited friends and family in Melbourne and Tasmania, I sensed a little disappointment that I didn’t look like I was at death’s door, as some had expected. I assured them that I HAD been at death’s door, especially when I’d had to rush to the emergency room during February’s heatwave, when a combination of heat exhaustion and crashing nausea from migraines made me very sick indeed.

But I’ve been delighted to be feeling so bright and energetic, as it meant I could finally take my brief interstate holiday, and enjoy catching up with my son and daughter-outlaw and my three gorgeous grand-daughters, other relatives and many friends, as well as the perfect autumn weather. I always feel much better when the sun is shining! I came back exhausted from so much pleasurable activity, and was surprised to find my platelets had doubled from 45 to 93, quite high for me. On the strength of that bounce, and my continuing good health, we reduced my steroids by .5mg to 3.5mg daily.

Cordyceps works – at least for me

I’ve been taking the Chinese fungal preparation, cordyceps sinensis at the rate of two 500mg tablets each morning, for the past four months. It’s been clear for at least two months that this is assisting me to maintain good energy levels despite my poorly functioning adrenals and pituitary gland, and it may also be improving my immune function.

Whether I will need to continue taking cordyceps after I’m finally weaned off the prednisone is not yet clear, but I’m happy to keep taking it, as I’ve had no adverse reactions to it, and some definitely positive effects. Without it, I think I would be far less chirpy than I am!

Weaning the prednisone – what’s ahead?

Not surprisingly, I’ve been really enjoying this sense of well-being, and of feeling that I’m almost ‘back to normal’. But what is ‘normal’ for me in this new situation of learning to live with chronic illness? Both my GP and my psychologist have warned me I will likely have setbacks – that I won’t always feel as good as I do now.

The psych gave me some very good advice, which I’m applying by writing this blog. He suggested I write a note to myself – from my well self to my unwell self. It’s to be read when I hit a setback, reminding myself that I’ve been ill before – several times during this past 18 months – and that I’ve got better, and even bounced back. That no phase is permanent – nothing in life is permanent, but just as there will be bad times with my health, so there will be good times again. The whole series of posts in this irregular blog will show me that!

Even now, in dropping the pred down to 3.5mg, I’ve had a little bit of an adverse reaction. Not immediately, but after a couple of days. I started to feel a touch shaky in the mornings, slower to get started, and at night, brief palpitations on going to bed. For two days in a row I had very little energy, and spent the afternoon of one day, and the whole of the next reading and knitting. Thank goodness for beautiful autumn sunshine – I was able to ‘convalesce’ in a comfy chair on my balcony soaking up the rays, surrounded by my plants.

On the bright side

The autumn sunshine finally induced my nasturtiums to bloom, so there were bright yellow and orange flowers to greet me when I came back from my holiday. All the herbs on my balcony are doing well – I can pick rocket, chives and parsley every day for a bit of fresh green life, the oregano and everlasting basil ares still going strong and the rosemary bush has started to show tiny mauve flowers. What a joy even a tiny garden can be!

It’s good news week!

This month saw me reach my anniversary – 12 months since that strange and frightening day when I was diagnosed with ITP and bundled off to the emergency department of Sydney’s wonderful Royal Prince Alfred Hospital. By coincidence, I had my regular fortnightly check-up booked for the very day. And I was NOT looking forward to my anniversary!

Turns out this was good news day, not the doomsday I’d been dreading.

No, I haven’t suddenly been cured. No, neither my doctor nor the researchers studying ITP are any closer to discovering what causes it. And yes, my pituitary gland is still “screwed up” (to quote my doctor), and likely to stay that way, to a lessening degree, for the foreseeable future. Yes, the steroids are still threatening to tip me over into Type 2 diabetes if I don’t watch my diet very carefully, and they’re thinning my bones and my skin.

BUT, the good things definitely outweigh the bad.

On the bright side

I'm feeling remarkably well and most days have reasonable levels of energy. My platelets are sitting in their usual position around 50, but they're not causing any obvious problems. My blood pressure and haemoglobin level are fine, and the horrible gluggy cholestyramine is doing an excellent job of keeping my cholesterol down and fixing my kidney function, so my kidneys are no longer struggling.

Best of all, because I have been sticking to the no carbs diet, I am no longer insulin resistant. So, as long as I keep on keeping off carbohydrates and sugar, and get enough regular exercise, I should be able to keep the dreaded T2 diabetes at bay.

Regular exercise important for people with chronic illness.

I know regular exercise is important for good health, but the problem for people with chronic illnesses is if you have a bad spell (like my recent gastric flu episode), you very quickly lose condition. It becomes hard to do the things you could do when you were healthy, like walk up hills, climb stairs, carry grocery bags, or wash the floors.

Once again I have my local health service to thank for the opportunities to build up my fitness during this period of comparatively good health. I’ve been accepted into the RPA’s rehab gym, which is mainly for patients with lung and cardiac conditions. I started there this week, doing a little bit of gentle cardio on the treadmill and exercise bike, and some even gentler resistance training for my arms and upper body.

When, in a few months’ time, I get too fit to qualify for this gym, there is another section of the health service that offers continuing gym membership, supervised by physiotherapists, for people with chronic conditions. This service is not free, but is well worth the small monthly fee to continue to maintain and improve physical fitness in managing chronic illnesses.

Reasons to be cheerful

Apart from all the good news from my doctor and the pleasure of doing a little targeted exercise, I have learned to love my diet. Why? Because, not only am I losing lots of weight, but I now have to eat foods that will maintain my weight, and prevent me getting too thin.

Because I must avoid carbohydrates as much as possible, within reason, to defeat the steroid tendency towards insulin resistance, I need to replace the energy I would have got from eating bread, rice, pasta, porridge, cake, etc. And that means eating more fat.

My doctor has virtually ordered me to eat more cream, cheese, butter, bacon, even chocolate, alongside the serves of protein, vegetables and fruit. As she said: “You can have a lot of fun on a no-carb diet!”


It won’t be forever. When I finally get off the steroids, I will be allowed a more ‘normal’ level of carbs in my diet, and once more I’ll have to think very carefully about eating cream, butter, bacon or chocolate. But until then, boy, am I gonna enjoy my no carb regime!

Unravelling a possible cause of my ITP

It seems likely that my fluctuating thrombocyte numbers are an indication of an underlying susceptibility to biotoxins (toxins produced by animals, plants or microorganisms). In my case, blood tests and nasal swabs have shown I’m quite heavily infected with two, possibly three strains of Staphylococcus – S. aureus and S. epidermidis, collectively known by the cheerful acronym MARCoNS (Multiply Antibiotic Resistant Coagulase Negative Staph).

Immune evasion proteins (biotoxins) from Staphylococcus have been implicated in chronic illnesses such as Lyme disease and fibromyalgia, by biotoxin researcher Dr Ritchie Shoemaker and could be responsible for ITP in people with genetic susceptibility to them. S. aureus, in particular, is structured to produce toxins that are directed at the two key elements of host immunity: complement and neutrophils, helping it to survive the body’s immune response mechanisms.

Toxic overload!

The latest hypothesis of why I developed adrenal fatigue, and why my platelets keep bouncing up and down, (but never as high as my doctor and I would like), is that I’m suffering from a toxic overload from these Staph infections. As they are known neurotoxins, these toxins directly affect my pituitary gland, leading to the lack of a hormone cascade that results in the adrenal insufficiency or even exhaustion. Add to this my genetic inabilities to metabolise folate and digest gluten-containing foods, and possible susceptibility to the heavy metal, mercury, contained in my old amalgam fillings and you have a recipe for chronic illness that has been gently cooking for most of my life.

Treating toxin overload

Assuming this hypothesis is correct, can we eliminate the toxin overload? My doctor and I have hopes we can, based on Dr Shoemaker’s research. First step is to attempt to eliminate the toxins from my body. This is apparently why I have such terrible bouts of diarrhoea every few weeks!

My fluctuating thrombocyte counts – up to 50, down to 42, down again to 34, and hopefully back up to 50 soon – are like the canary in the coalmine. When my platelet numbers are down, it’s usually the week that I’m having diarrhoea, the huge headaches, and generally feel like s—t, while they bounce up again the following week when I’ve eliminated some toxins, my headache is bearable or hardly there, and I’m feeling pretty good.

We’re going to try to control the diarrhoea and still aim to eliminate the toxins by using anhydrous cholestyramine, commonly prescribed for lowering blood cholesterol levels. The powder is mixed with a glass of water or juice to make a gluggy gelatinous liquid, taken two or three times a day. The cholesterol-lowering effect will certainly be handy, as the prednisone and a high meat, egg and cheese diet have certainly pushed my total cholesterol levels to dangerously high! But the main aim is to bind the Staph toxins with the cholestyramine, which is not absorbed by the digestive system, but passes out in the faeces, together with whatever it has bound.

I shall be on a regime of 8-12 grams a day of this “glug” for two weeks, then more blood tests to see what’s happening. We may well alternate the cholestyramine with doses of high strength antibiotics to attempt to wipe out the Staph infections, and these alternate fortnights of antibiotics and “glug” could last for the next two months.

Diet plays a part, too

My diet has been modified yet again, to maximise the benefits from the new regime. As there’s a possibility that some grains provide a cosy environment in the gut for Staph organisms, I am now having to avoid all grains, even rice, whenever possible. I have been allowed one or two slices of gluten-free bread a week, just to give a base for toasted cheese! I’ve packed away my bread maker for the interim, as there’s no sense it taking up bench space, and no point making a loaf of home-made bread, when a store-bought packet will keep in the freezer for a fortnight.

I’m getting used to eating what I consider a version of the Paleolithic diet, although I’m sure my hunter-gatherer ancestors never enjoyed Greek yoghurt, fresh Parmesan cheese, or olive oil! The only major problem is what to eat for breakfast? Since every meal at present must contain some protein, and there is some doubt whether I should eat legumes, it’s animal protein, and that means cooking! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it also the time of the day when I’m least coordinated and functioning. Cooking porridge was something I could do pretty much in my sleep. Now I have to decide WHAT to cook – eggs, bacon, cheese, fish, left-overs - and HOW to cook it without setting the kitchen or myself on fire!

Always look on the bright side of life…

The best thing I’ve discovered about this high meat diet – apart from the pleasure of rediscovering my British cooking roots with stews and casseroles like Lancashire hotpot – is that I can indulge my love of roast lamb with rosemary and garlic. Mmmm!!

Reality Check

One month on and my platelets have been up and down, and my emotional and physical health with them. I had a high – a record 101 three weeks ago, with ensuing confidence, happiness and denial of how serious the condition is. Thank goodness I have my psych to bring me back to some sort of reality once a fortnight!

Because of, course, as soon as we reduced the prednisone by the tiny 0.5mg, the platelets took a dive, and kept on diving for 3 weeks in a row. Down went my strength and resilience, up went the incidence of headaches and shakiness

The platelets have stopped diving, and crept up a whole two points, but at least my doctor and I are starting to recognise my immune system’s pattern. It takes three weeks or so for my cortisol levels to get up to the artificial level of the steroids, so there’s a gap when it’s below what it should be. So the platelets start dropping and keep dropping. Then, it catches up, & they turn around, & rise for 3 weeks until we do the next reduction.

H Pylori and Gut Parasites

During this month I’ve had a series of extra tests, as we cover all the angles. Following last month’s research findings on H pylori, we checked my blood for antibodies. Thankfully we found none, as I really didn’t want to add antibiotics to my pharmaceutical diet. Next, we’ve tested my faeces for signs of gut parasites that might be causing the regular bouts of diarrhoea that afflict me, and reduce my absorption of nutrients from my food. The results aren’t all back, but it seems probable that I’m clear. Which points the finger at food intolerances.

Testing for Food Intolerances

I’m already aware that I’m gluten intolerant, thanks to the presence of one gene for coeliac disease. So, I’ve - reluctantly - adopted a strict gluten-free diet, and started making my own bread – so much better flavoured (and cheaper) than the commercial stuff. Even more reluctantly, I gave up my morning serve of porridge, as even I had to admit that I could no longer digest oats. The 1/8th Scottish blood in me was sorely tried by giving up porridge, and replacing it with the less tasty and certainly less filling millet ‘porridge’.

Now, it seems my Scottish and Welsh heritage (also only 1/8th) might be to blame for some other form of food intolerance. It turns out that people of Celtic background are more prone to food problems than non-Celts. The poor Irish have the highest incidence of food intolerances in the world. So now we’re checking to see if I have the somewhat rude-sounding MTHRFR gene, and if I do, it will be off to see the food intolerance expert at Sydney Uni.

More Depressing Results Of Long-Term Steroid Use

Also during this month of tests, I had a bone mineral density check up, and yes, my bones are thinner by 5%, pushing me ever closer to osteoporosis. It seems the prednisone is drawing calcium from my bones into my blood stream, and, according to my doctor, taking a calcium supplement would simply put more calcium in blood, not back into my bones, until we can majorly reduce, or even stop, the steroids for a while.

Equally bad is the news that I now have metabolic syndrome(‘pre-diabetes’). While I knew the steroids had raised my triglycerides and total cholesterol to quite high levels, my blood pressure is well controlled, and remains perfectly normal, so I’d hoped I would escape the treat of diabetes. Well, no, I’ve developed insulin resistance. So, another change of diet, to minimise it. Now I must drop my carbohydrate load and eat even more protein – ie– at all three meals a day, and up my fat consumption to replace the energy I won't be getting from carbs. Eight months ago I was on a low fat, low protein (100 grams a meal), high carbohydrate diet that suited my lifestyle and kept me around my normal weight of 65 kilograms. Now it’s completely reversed! Thanks, steroids – thanks a bunch!!

Also this month I had a date with my optometrist, who confirmed my eyesight was worse than this time last year – by a large amount, but reassured me that it might not be permanent.

On the Bright Side

It’s winter in Sydney, which means it’s not cold by most people’s definition, the sun shines most days, and I’m enjoying rediscovering meat dishes and relearning how to cook tasty warming meals the slow cook way. And my doctor says I should eat more bacon – in moderation, of course!

On the See-Saw Again

Two weeks on and two more blood tests and my platelets are “behaving like the stock exchange” as my doctor put it. Up and down like a yo-yo.

Last time I posted, a fortnight ago, they had crept up to 34 from a scary low of 22. The following week they bounced to a magnificent 55, lifting my spirits almost as high.

Alas, this week’s blood test shows them back down at 35. However, thanks to my doctor’s meticulous tweaking of the Chinese herbs each week in response to my blood chemistry results, everything else in my system is behaving well, with all indicators sitting where they should be.

My neutrophils (white cells) might be a touch high, and busily munching on my platelets. But I’m not panicking, and neither is my doctor. We’ll wait and see what next week’s blood chemistry shows.

Emotional Highs and Lows

Despite that lovely number of 55, this fortnight has been a real emotional see-saw, with lows outnumbering highs two or three to one, and frequent mood swings every day. At times it has seemed like every hour. As soon as I pick myself up, some loss of control over my life – usually resulting from dealing with a health or welfare bureaucrat or real estate agent – sends me tumbling down again.

Some of this depression is directly from the steroids (depression is a known side-effect from long term corticosteroid use), but a lot is from the uncertainty of my financial situation and the frustrations of trying to find somewhere cheaper to live to match my reduced income.

The past two weeks have been laden with delays, frustrations and intense anxieties, and I have to say ‘emotional lability’ (a tendency to burst into tears with little warning) is quite exhausting. And in itself, quite frustrating!

This Week’s Bright Side

The big plus this week is that my energy and brain power are FINALLY coming back, thanks to the wonderful herbs which I’ve been taking religiously, twice a day, and the restricted diet, which I’ve been sticking to. I feel almost normal again and managed to do the 25 minute walk to my doctor’s surgery (it’s gently downhill), tho’ I had to catch a bus home again.

Another plus is that, with the help of my adult children, I’ve found a cheaper place to live in the same neighbourhood, and my friends and family will help me make the move in a couple of weeks.

And my lovely doctor took pity on me over the expense and utter lack of flavour and texture in commercial gluten-free bread and has allowed me to have a small bowl of porridge for breakfast again!

It’s a glorious Indian Summer Autumn here in Sydney. I can walk through my favourite park or just sit there in the sun, and for the first time in a long time, I’m feeling OK!

Down and (hopefully) Up Again!

Last week’s blood test was a shocker – my platelet count was down to 33, with the pathologist flagging it as ‘marked thrombocytopenia’. Yikes!!

I feared they were falling from the previous reading of 50, as my gums had started bleeding when I clean my teeth, and I had one possibly unexplained bruise.

So my doctor had a little chat with me – and pushed the box of tissues over as my tears started to flow. This is serious stuff. Whether I like it or not (definitely not), I am seriously ill, and if those platelets don’t start climbing again, I could end up back in hospital.

So, despite my wishing it otherwise, we have increased the steroid dose to 5mg a day. I tried to bargain for 3mg, but was over-ridden. “Better to overshoot and be able to cut back later than to undershoot and have you back in hospital,” she said. I know when to give in gracefully.

Fortunately the Chinese herbs are having positive effects on other aspects of my blood chemistry. While my white blood cells (the neutrophils in particular) are still low, they are back over the danger line. My haemoglobin count has also improved, and is almost out of the anaemia trough.

Because this herbal mixture was giving me unwelcome bloating and some diarrhoea, it’s been tweaked to remove the offending herb. I’ve also found the mix is easier to take if it's made like a cup of tea – ie- diluted twice as much (not halving the dose but adding more hot water).

Food for Thought

My diet has been modified even further, mainly because of my muddle-headedness (or wishful thinking). When my doctor told me to cut out all raw fruit and vegetables and sugar, and eat only warm, cooked food, I thought she also said “and maintain a completely wheat-free diet.” Hence my discovery that eating porridge with salt is much more pleasant than having it laden with golden syrup or brown sugar.

But of course that’s not what she meant, and she said it more clearly this time. “Maintain a completely gluten-free diet.” Umm, that makes life more difficult, especially first thing in the morning. I have trained my body to need breakfast, the most important meal of the day. However, I am always dopey for the first hour or so of the morning, even without the steroid/exhaustion-induced random hedgehog munching my brain, but I can more or less make porridge in my sleep. Plus oatmeal is good for controlling high levels of LDL cholesterol.

Now breakfast will have to be (a) left-overs from the night before – (can I face them?); (b) home-made savoury muffins reheated in the microwave; or (c) toast made from disgustingly bland and crumbly gluten-free bread.

Still Tired and Weepy

It’s been a long hard week, and I have serious decisions to make about my future in terms of how I survive financially when I’m in no state to work more than a few hours a week. Not only does my body feel exhausted, but my brain too – what my doctor calls “brain fag”. This is a problem common to many people faced with a severe illness that becomes chronic, and financial stress can make it harder to relax and recover.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! How many chronically ill people must echo my cry?

I know that with my doctor’s help I will a reach a stage where my ITP is managed; when the factors destroying my platelets are balanced by factors that support them without damaging my immune system too much.

I know that when that point is reached I will have much better levels of energy and a more regularly functioning brain – instead of the short bursts of both I have at the moment. And then life will return to something more like normal. But that’s a way down the track, and I have to face the short-term challenges created by a much reduced income.

Always Look on the Bright Side…

This week’s bright side: the higher dose of steroids has blocked out the pain from my arthritic joints and tight neck after only two days. Marvellous!

Also marvellous are my friends, who have rallied round me with empathy and useful good advice (not all good advice is useful). Thank you. You know who you are.

Going down!

Two more blood tests – now weekly - and it’s clear that as the steroid dose goes down, so alas, do my platelets. The pathologist is now marking my thrombocytopenia as ‘moderate’, with the latest reading at 53 (thousand). My haemoglobin count has gone down to 112 and ‘mild anaemia’, and my white cells are also disappearing too, though only just below the safety zone of 4.

So – it’s not a one-off idiopathic event, but as I feared all along, it’s ongoing and will need careful management.

At this stage, my doctor and I are experimenting – within clear clinical guidelines – to see how my body will respond to some Chinese herbs to boost my blood cells and support my spleen.
I now have a mix of 10 powdered herbs – zhi huang qi, bai shao-sheng, dang gui, dang shen, bai zhu-chao, shu di, chuan xiong, rou gui, fu ling and zhi gan cao – to take in hot water twice a day. They initially tasted pretty awful, but I’ve found by diluting them more than the instructions said, they not only taste bearable, but are less likely to give me diarrhoea!

I don’t know what the western or common names for these herbs are, but there is certainly liquorice in the mix! This makes the herbal ‘tea’ almost enjoyable once I worked out a dilution that meant I could mostly only taste the liquorice.

We have also stopped weaning me off the steroids, so I’m sitting on 1mg a day until I see the doctor in a week’s time, when we might have to bump it back up to 2 mg.

Let your food be your medicine

As well as the Chinese herbs, I’m on a strict diet to avoid stressing my body too much. I’ve been eating what I believed to be a healthy diet of green salads every lunchtime, occasional mid-morning or mid-afternoon snacks of raw celery and carrot sticks, as well as apples and cantaloupe pieces. I’ve never been all that fond of raw veggies, and apples are the main fruit I like, but I knew that salads and fresh fruit were healthy, so I persisted.

Well, seems I was wrong, again. At least for now. I’ve been told to only have well cooked vegetables and stewed fruit, as it’s draining energy from my body trying to digest the raw produce. That’s actually what I prefer, and how I used to consume my fruit and veg, until I decided to get really healthy!

The harder part of the diet to follow is the restriction on sugar. Sugar reduces the effectiveness of the immune system, by deactivating the white blood cells, specifically the neutrophils which attack bacteria such as Staphylococcus aureus and Escherichia coli. Since I have a lowered white cell count anyway, it would be foolish to diminish their fighting powers.

So no sugar in coffee, no cakes or biscuits, no honey or marmalade on my toast, and no sugar on my morning porridge. It would actually be a total prohibition, but stewed fruit would taste pretty awful without a tiny amount of sweetness (and I refuse to eat chemical artificial sweeteners)! Porridge tastes surprisingly pleasant without sugar and with just a tiny amount of salt.

Still tired, & now weepy

It’s depressing at times to find how easily I tire, and how little energy reserves I have. A walk to the park with a stroll around the duck pond, and then home again, can still knock me out for a couple of hours afterwards.

My brain feels like it has a hole in it, where the neurons have frayed apart, so I stop suddenly, mid-sentence, waiting for a neuron to bridge the gap and bring the word or thought back.

I have days when I’m shaky and a little weepy – some of which can be blamed on the steroid reduction, and some of it on the generally distressing situation.

On the plus side

On the bright side, my kidneys are almost back to normal – coffee tastes good again, yay!! My cholesterol count is rapidly dropping back to a safe level.

And, although I don’t know what I weigh this week, I can squeeze into more clothes and shoes, so I know the weight and swelling are going down somewhat. Still have the pumpkin face, but I have a sharp new haircut and a vivid purple hair.

More Numbers, More Patience!

Another blood test, another visit to my GP, another set of numbers to crunch and digest. And more patience expected of me – never the world’s most patient person.

The bad news is that my platelets seem to be trending down as the steroid dose is reduced. The last four readings have been 153, 177, 149, and this week’s one, 127. While they’re still in the safe zone, above 100 (thousand), they are at the low end of safe, with the pathologist marking the last two readings as ‘mild thrombocytopenia.’

Alien Attack!

Of course, this then begs the question – why is my immune system intent on destroying my thrombocytes, and is there anything – other than destroying the immune system with corticosteroids – we can do to stop it?

It seems fairly likely that a virus infection, possibly the mild dose of ‘swine flu’ I had in October, triggered the immune system to view my thrombocytes as alien invaders to be destroyed quickly and efficiently. If they really were aliens – say, daleks or cybermen – I’d be very proud of my immune system, fighting them off with no sign of The Doctor anywhere close by.

But, wait – these aren’t aliens – these are necessary members of my corporeal community with important roles of their own! Apart from causing my blood to clot at any injury, my platelets also help wounds to heal. I just found out that their name, ‘thrombocytes’, literally means ‘clotting cells’ (Greek: thrombus – clot, cytos – cell).

What we need to do now is to find some way of getting my immune system to recognise that my platelets are on the same side of the war against the real, biological aliens – that they’re friends, not foes.

And in the meantime, keep the numbers up as the steroid dose goes down.

Unhappy Kidneys

I’m still peeing large amounts, but no longer vast cataracts of liquid, thank goodness. So my kidneys are gradually improving, but that funny, almost metallic, taste in my mouth that makes me want to suck peppermints all the time, is apparently a sign of the kidneys being damaged. Probably by the prednisone, but possibly by other lifestyle matters as well, such as my chronic irritable bowel.

The worst part of this, apart from a natural concern about the state of my kidneys, is that the taste in my mouth is affecting my enjoyment of coffee. Suddenly coffee doesn’t taste so good any more!

If my kidneys are still not happy next time I see the doctor, she will prescribe some herbs (Chinese or European, I’m not sure which) to cheer them up. These will probably taste foul, but I won’t know, until my kidneys are functioning properly and I no longer have that strange taste in my mouth.

Still on the Wagon

Apart from celebratory drinks with friends over Christmas, I haven’t touched any alcohol for three months. Not even on my recent birthday! I’m not a heavy drinker now I’m not in my 20s, but I do enjoy a glass or two or red wine with a meal, and/or the occasional whisky. In the summer, I like a Cinzano Rosso or Sec over ice.

Now, remaining teetotal, while not a huge struggle, is an ongoing disappointment. A gentle pleasure denied me by this stupid disease. So I’d hoped that the steroid dose was low enough at 1.5mg that I could be allowed a glass of red wine with my evening meal. I was even prepared to barter my daily mug of coffee for an evening tipple.

Nope! No way! In fact, the barter had to go the other way. My doctor was prepared to allow me my daily coffee (though she’d rather I didn’t) in return for a promise to stay off the demon drink. I was tempted to quote St Paul’s advice to her: “take a little wine for thy stomach’s sake” , but I don’t think she’d have been amused. (Besides, modern translations probably say 'non-alcoholic wine', and what’s the point of that?)

It seems my poor body is not strong enough yet for strong liquor – not even an environmentally friendly and very smooth blend of South Australian shiraz and merlot.

Weaning Ever So Slowly

What with the kidneys, and the headaches I've had off and on, and the lethargy/feeling like a lump of lead, or the days when I can't stay awake, it seems I'm still cutting down the steroids a touch too fast. So instead of going from 1.5mg to 1mg this week, I have to take a smaller jump - more of a hop, really - to 1.25mg. I'll need a pill cutter for this, as the 1mg tablets are hard enough to break in half, let alone quarters.

This extra step adds at least another week to the 'getting off the bloody steroids' timetable. Maybe by the middle of March?

Now to the good news

Yes, there is good news, despite all my whingeing. While my weight remains the same, there are more days when I can get into my baggy green pants, and even occasionally squeeze into the stretch jeans (hiding my muffin top under a loose shirt or smock). Various swollen bits are going down – my bras almost fit, my face is a bit less pumpkin-like, and yesterday’s great achievement: I could get my feet into a real pair of shoes again!

The hot, steamy, tropical weather has ended too, with the start of early autumn. The humidity has gone, there is less bite in the sun, but it’s still gorgeous weather. Though this has no connection with weaning off the steroids, or being good about staying off the booze, it has certainly improved my psychological and physical ability to deal with both of those!